I love my name. Three names that exist harmoniously wherever I put them. Apart from the fact that it’s my dad’s name, I’ve come to love the sound of them and don’t want to change any of them. I’m getting married early next year. I’ve made this point clear over and over again to my boyfriend. That I’m not going to change my name......See Full Story>>.....See Full Story>>
At first, he didn’t seem to care. That was two years ago but as the months draw nigh for us to get married, he’s started showing concern about my position. I’ve told him I want to keep my dad’s name. There’s some weight to it and some favours that come with my family name. I’ve explained to him the unfairness that comes with such an arrangement. Men get to keep their names in marriage while a woman’s name dissolves in the vow. I’ve explained to him that me not taking his name officially doesn’t mean less love.
I love us. I love him and I love our story but I can’t love his name at the end of my name. He doesn’t get it. He feels I’m rejecting the marriage if I reject his name. “What’s wrong with my name?” He asked. “What’s wrong with my name that I can’t get to keep it?” I responded.
“Your mom took your dad’s name. That’s how it’s done everywhere.”
“I’m not my mom. If I were your sister, I would say the same thing to my boyfriend. I’ll keep our name.”
It looks like I’m not going to win this argument. Everyone laughs when they hear this. My dad laughed and wished me well when I told him. To me, it’s not a laughing matter. I want it that way. Even if he wants me to fund the wedding to keep my name, I’ll do it. Is that too much to ask? Especially when a name change doesn’t add to or subtract from the love we share.